No, not my actual patience. But, I do hear this from moms a lot. They are afraid they won't be able to continue to homeschool because their patience is wearing thin. And how will they ever be able to teach their children?
In many of my past blog articles I have addressed ways that I hope could help this.
Jubilee schooling, where you only focus on schooling for 6 or so weeks then take 1 or 2 weeks off, to refresh and rejuvenate.
Keeping your days shorter for academics so your children can explore and play out much of their energy.
Getting used to being around your children all the time, and making sure to have daily quiet time.
Only expecting developmentally appropriate learning and phases of your children for their ages, and emotional maturity.
All of those articles may help you to find balance and patience.
However, all those articles are on the long term basis of homeschooling, so you are not overwhelmed and lacking patience from the sheer stress of the marathon. Today, I want to focus on right now, today.
So you do all the things I suggested in my previous articles, but today... this day, you are up to your eye balls stressed out and losing your patience!
That's ok! We are all human, and still working on our own personalities.
Usually on the days I find my patience really wearing thin, when I step back and think about it, often it is because I am expecting something that is just either not developmentally appropriate for my child to be learning yet, or they just are not ready. Even IF all the research says that at this age, they should be able to learn, x, y and z! Because hey, they are individuals, they aren't robots. Not every child is going to be ready at the exact same age to learn to read, or write, or anything. Just like there is many months difference between babies when they learn to walk, or talk, or potty train. It's the same with any life skill, most will learn it when they are ready. And not a day sooner! So if I can step back, and reassess the situation, and realize, hey it's ok that they need more help learning to read right now, then I thought they did. Or I need to reel in the pace we are learning fractions at. And lower my expectations to a more reasonable expectation, my own patience is often renewed, and the child also gains more joy in learning again.
I'll just tell on myself. My middle child, Belle, wanted to learn to read. So we started using the Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I was expecting her to just understand after so many lessons about the sounds each letter make. But, she wasn't. She started to not like doing the book, and I started HATING it! After a few days... I just didn't wanna no more. My patience was thin, she was crying... but she wanted to learn to read too! So I stepped back, settled myself down, and decided, you know what... so what she doesn't understand the sounds of the letters yet! Just keep helping her do it, til she doesn't need help. No matter how long that may take. So we did ALL 100 lessons, with me continuing to help her when she needed help, and not me being staunch that she needed to sound out the words herself. She ended up LOVING the book, and actually crying when we finished it, because she was going to miss it. I was meh on the book myself, but hey the important thing was, she loved it. And it did help her in progressing in learning to read. And hey, in my opinion it was much better then Calverts lessons.. that I really really dreaded, and Lela basically needed no help at all with them. In fact she knew how to read when we used it, and we both hated it! haha
Another point, that has helped me, is do not fill in your homeschool planner too far in advance. That can start to stress me out and make my patience wear thin as well. I get to feeling behind. And there's not even anything to be behind, but myself!!! haha Sometimes, something takes longer then you imagined too, when you are planning too far in advance.
For instance, Lela, my oldest daughter learning fractions. We mainly use Ray's Arithmetic and we can usually flow from one lesson, and questions to the next with out reviewing old material and she just gets it, usually! But, when it came to common denominators, that was a doozy for her. And we were stuck on that one particular part for a while. Had I planned out too far in advance, I would of stressed myself out, and most likely wore my patience out from the stress. But, since I only plan a day or two, and no more then a week in advance. I could step back, and give her more time to get it! We spent about 3 weeks, on the same lesson... til it finally clicked for her. We probably spent another week on the lesson, making sure it sank in, even after it clicked for her. Now, she has mastered that skill very very well! Another point for Team Homeschool, had she been in public school, most likely she would of failed those lessons and then the class would of kept on moving to the next math lessons and she would of never mastered the art of common denominators! Which is a whole other subject, of patience.
Focus on mastering skills, rather then getting x amount of worksheets done this year. If you focus on skills mastered, at the end of the year you will be so much prouder of yourself and your kiddos then, being able to check off you did 180 worksheets of math this year. As a result, you will not be so stressed about being "behind" where your patience starts getting worn thru!
And then there are some days, that life is just harried and crazy for one reason or another. The dog chewed up your husbands favorite meeting shoes, the baby took his diaper off and poo'd behind the living room chair, the cat ate your child's gold fish! And it the list goes on, in any mothers daily life. Remind yourself this is why you homeschool as well. You do NOT have to be tied to the public school systems hours or calendar. When your stress is too high and your patience is thin. It is ok, to call the day off for recess! Or if you really want to stay in home school mode, call it Nature Studies! haha Seriously though, you do NOT have to have school every day in the traditional sense. You can take the day off, and you can send the kids outside to play. You can put on your favorite music, get a cuppa tea, a favorite magazine, with lots of fun photos (because you certainly don't need the stress of trying to "learn" something right now, just look at fun pictures! lol) and relax. Or if you are one who gets energized and refocused being out, you could also just pack up the kids and go to the zoo, botanic gardens, the local science/children's museum, your local nature center, or hiking trail, or even just McDonald's play land! But, don't forget your cuppa tea, and fun picture magazines. haha. Things will work out, and you don't have to worry about "schooling" in the traditional sense, til you can find your balance again. Come back to it in a day or few.
Remember there is no such thing as behind. That has been made up, by institutionalized school system, that has not done any kind of research on what is even developmentally and emotionally appropriate for each age and grade! So if you take a day off, to regroup and refocus and gain your patience back, there's nothing to stress or worry about. Children will learn, what they need to learn, when they need to learn it. And sometimes what they need to learn, is it is ok, to take a day off, and refocus. Jesus, the perfect human, sometimes needed a day off, to relax, pray, meditate and refocus. If some one who is perfect in every way, needed this time. How much more so, do we who are imperfect! And that right there is a lesson you are teaching your children in itself. Not to lack in caring for your own emotional needs when they arise.
Don't give up homeschooling, or your confidence in being able to educate your children, for one day or even hour in time that you're not the Pollyanna, ball of sunshine you always want to be. It's ok to step back and relax for a little bit. And come back later.
This is also one of my favorite of all time meme's on the time spent in public school education and the time spent in homeschool education. If you get too worried, remember this break down. And give yourself a break!
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