Weekend Edition ~ My Child is Not a Natural Learner - Part 1

A common concern I have found among many parents, is their children do not seem to be natural learners, or are not interested in learning anything. It leads the parents to feeling, either they must not be a good teacher for their children or they must force and fight their children to teach them anything. The following article will address why this may seem to be the case, and if it is, how to combat these tendencies and help a child progress back to the natural tendencies, that ALL children are born with, of curiosity and learning. Of course barring the child does not have mental, learning, or emotional disabilities that may hinder or override this natural born instinct.

Remember Jehovah made humans to learn. From conception they are learning, we do not have to force a fetus to learn to listen to our heartbeat and know we are there by that sound. We don't have to force babies to learn to smile, or talk, or eat foods, crawling and walking. These are all things the majority of children will do on their own because they are curious and driven to do the things around them they see others doing.

Academics really and truly does happen the exact same way. As children see others learning, reading, speaking, doing math for life around them-budgeting, and such. They begin to want to as well!

Yet many still experience children that seem to lack this desire, when it comes to academics. The main cause of this is expecting what is called "seat work", and particular skills before the child is developmentally ready. Most American schools, and other public schools around the world often start pushing these forms of academics way too young. Meanwhile it is not developmentally appropriate for most very young children. Most of us would assume that the officials in charge of schools academic choices would have researched child development and chose skills that would coincide with the majority of children's age appropriate development. But, sadly that is not what happens in most public schools across the world. Most are developed by government officials who are only wanting to look good on tests scores around the world. Complete competition based, not developmentally chosen. And in this it's failing hugely. The countries like the USA are falling down towards the bottom of these tests scores, meanwhile other countries who delay academia til it's more developmentally appropriate for the children's ages, score much much higher on these tests.

Because of the above, children who are pushed to learn things before they are developmentally ready, give up on learning. When they can not learn what is being asked of them, they begin to feel stupid, and like it's something they can't do, so give up. And then even when they "can" they have already been defeated in the past so do not want to even try now. Since, they are feeling so badly about themselves being dumb, or stupid, they will fight and cry, and just really throw some fits about doing "seat work" or learning in any way, shape or form.

Often children who have been in public school already have this problem. That is why it's highly suggested to Deschool (different than Unschooling, and I do have a blog article on this as well) for at least 2 months for each year they have been in school, and summer time does not count in this. To help them develop their confidence back. It can also happen even if a child has never been to a public school because the parents have bought in to the public schools push of academics too young as well. Again deschooling may need to take place.

One thing to keep in mind that age appropriate development can vary hugely between children. Just like it does for babies and toddlers. One baby may start speaking at 6 months old and another not til 18 months old. One baby may start crawling at 6 months and another not til 9 months old. Doesn't mean we need to push the 7 or 8 or 9 month old baby to start crawling cause other 6 month olds are, or that they don't want to learn, or that they are developmentally behind. All it means is that baby is not ready yet, because humans are not robots and each are ready at different times. It's exactly the same with academics. One child may be ready to read at 5, and another not til 9. Both are fine. Both will eventually learn exactly what they need to, when they need to. And that is ok! Try to let go of competition, and just focus on each child making individual progress. It's kind of the same with our Bible studies. We may have one study that progresses very quickly and another who takes much longer to progress. Both, are coming to a love of Jehovah at their own speed and that's ok. It's the same with academics, all children will learn at their own speed, if we don't squash that love out by trying to force them to learn things their developmental stage is not ready for yet.

As this subject can be diverse and deep, this will conclude Part 1, stay tuned for Part 2.

Weekend Edition ~ Teaching Your Child to Read

I think teaching a child to read is the skill that parents are the most scared and concerned about their ability to teach. It can be very scary. It's one of the most important skills in our ability to learn about Jehovah, by reading his word, the Bible. As well as living in a society that tells us that you need to be a teacher in a school to teach, parents can't do that! But, it's not true! Many parents have been successful in teaching their children to read.

John Holt speaks about this in many of his books. It seems like How Children Fail touches on this a bit, although the main theme of How Children Fail is his journal of teaching 4th grade math... so it just touches on reading a bit. But, still it's very encouraging that most children can learn to read at home, with out a school teacher.

The most important part of teaching a child to read is being a reader yourself. Make sure the child sees you reading! Children love to imitate their parents. If you are not a reader, they likely will not be interested in it either.

Make sure to try to read to your children daily. Going back to what I always tell my readers, and friends, remember age development appropriateness too! Toddlers, and children under 6, may not want to curl up in your lap while you read for hours at a time. Yes, I know it's what we all dream about while pregnant. But, the reality may be very different when the baby becomes a toddler, or up to 6 years old. I had all those dreams of Lela (my oldest), being blissfully curled up in my lap daily while I read and read fun, engaging stories to her. HA! She was not that child! She hated it, would tear up and rip the books out of my hands. Would fight and cry and scream! So I gave up. I would revisit it every so often but til she was 6 years old she just was not having it! At about 6 years old (maybe late 5 years old), she started sitting and listening to me read, and quickly began to enjoy it.

Since then, I have read so many more books and heard so many more workshops on how to homeschool and teach children, that I have learned children do NOT have to sit still in your lap (or any where else) to listen to you read. I have learned children can play with blocks, or match box cars, etc on the floor while you are reading. I do ask them to play quietly. But, they can move around and play while I read. I have tested this many times with Belle, and RJ, and we are doing this with Sofia as well, but she is not old enough for me to "test". But, how I test if this is working, I read a small/short story (maybe a Bible Story), while they are playing quietly close to me, and then I ask them the questions about what I read, and every single time they can answer them with out problems! They are listening even when it seems like they are not paying a lick of attention to you. They look like they are so into their playing with their blocks, or cars or what have you, and they just may be playing very intently with them, but they are also listening. Again, I do have the rule of they need to be quiet while I am reading, but they can move and play all they want.

When I feel the child is ready, usually around 7 or older, I start with Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. We move on to Pathway Readers, Pathway Readers Workbooks, Climbing to Good English workbooks, as they seem to meld together so well. And also McGuffey Readers. Mott's sells a Teacher/Parent guide for the McGuffey Readers written by one of my favorite worldly authors, Ruth Beechick. If you choose to use her guide, make sure to get the Mott's McGuffey Readers as well, as there are MANY versions of McGuffey readers out there, as they were revised many times in the 1800's. The lessons will not match up if you get a different version of them from the ones that Ruth made her Parent/Teacher guide for. Ruth also wrote a very good 3 book series on teaching children to read. I will have to review for my blog soon. The Watchtower Bible and Track Society used to publish a workbook entitled Learn to Read and Write. It is currently out of print, but your Kingdom Hall may have a booklet or two left, or maybe a older brother or sister in your congregation may have one in their library you could ask if you could have. It's based on the DISTAR reading method. It's a good place to start if you have one available to you to see if the Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons would be a good fit for your child.

However, remember, just because a child doesn't respond to it, may not mean it's not a good fit for your child. It may mean your child is NOT ready to learn to read yet. And it may work later on. Most girls naturally learn to read between 7 and 9 years old, sometimes up to 12 years old. And most boys learn naturally learn to read (with out pushing and just by being in a reading family) between 9 and 12 years old, and sometimes up to 14 years old.

I strongly always suggest listening to Andrew Pudewa's Podcast Teaching Boys and Other Children Who Would Rather Make Forts All Day. He added in the "Other Children" because, while this podcast mainly focuses on teaching boys, much of it can also pertain to many girls as well. Andrew has 7 children. I know one of his children, a son, he refers to in this Podcast did not learn to read til he was 14 years old. Just this year, Andrew was at my local homeschool conference again. And I love his workshops so much, I went to every single one he gave. And there was follow up to his son. I do not have my notes, as I am writing this right now, so I can not remember the exact career his son chose in life (he's now a grown adult man) but it's suffice to say he is a successful grown man, and has a career that more than adequately provides for himself. I found a good article written by Andrew Pudewa, as I was trying to remember what career his son went into. Another awesome reminder for parents about ALL children learning to read in their own good time. I actually heard him give this workshop in person years ago. Andrew's article on his son's learning to read at a much later age of 14 years old - The Work of a Child.

Remember in my previous blog posts, Beverly Cleary, who became a very famous, and acclaimed children's book author did not learn to read til 9 years old. It was when SHE was ready to learn. Teachers and parents were so concerned when she didn't learn earlier, but she was not ready before then. As you can see today it did not hinder her long term reading or success.

Another good author who speaks on many children not learning to read til later, but still being successful reader is Raymond Moore, particularly his book Better Late Than Early.

Weekend Edition ~ Facing the Lion Book Review

While I have a paper form of this book, a friend also bought me the digital version from Amazon. So made it super easy to read while caring for Denise, and recovering from her birth. I was able to complete the entire book. I read the unabridged version (NOT the abridged).

Facing the Lion, is a true biography written by a sister about her life during World War II as a Jehovah's Witness child.

Simone is the sister's name. She starts the book by giving the reader a background of her childhood and family, starting very early in life. Then gradually gets to the time when her mother found the truth and became a Jehovah's Witness, Simone was still quite young, if I recall around 6 or 7 years old.

Simone goes on to explain how her mother taught her Biblical truths with out disrespecting her father, who was a devout Catholic and did not want Simone to be a Jehovah's Witness. As time goes on she tells of how so many of her family, friends and neighbors eventually learned the truth because of her mothers faithfulness to Jehovah, and her mildness, respect and love!

Eventually though as we know World War II hit the area that Simone lived in, and Hitler targeted Jehovah's Witnesses and banned our religion. Simone's story of faithfulness and integrity is so inspiring during this time. She even seen Hitler herself! And other sad and shocking things happened to her during this time.

There is however, some even more sad, and harsh times that came. Simone was taken from her parents, and both her parents were put into prison and concentration camps for remaining servants of Jehovah. While parts made me cry in emotional pain for this family, and Simone's situation, it was also VERY faith strengthening to read how Jehovah always helped them to feel his love and loyalty, and how they too remained faithful and loyal to Jehovah, never turning their back to serving him.

Some parts of it were so sad it was hard for me to continue reading, BUT, I knew that Jehovah had always stayed by the brothers who lived through World War II, so I kept reminding myself I knew it would have a good ending if I just kept trudging through and it did not disappoint. The ending was amazing! The love from our world wide brotherhood I had not heard of in the past that I remember (as far as some things provided specifically for and to Simone's family).

Now take this paragraph with the mind set that I am NOT in any way, shape or form, saying that modern day Public School is any where near the torture and pain that the place Simone was taken from her parents and ordered to live, by the Nazi Regime. However, there was some distinct similarities. The ending chapters explains that Simone's time in the placement home/school had taken away some her of natural curiosity and momentum to progress in life, that is normal for most people, who had not lived in the home that Simone had been mandated to live in. Public School in the USA has actually specifically been designed to do so on a less intense level. John Taylor Ghatto explains this much deeper. But, the constant, just do as your told and do not learn anything that the rest of the class is not learning yet, or only color a picture this particular way and this particular color, gradually and by design takes away many children's, in the USA and other counties public schools, natural desire to learn and progress with out being told specifically to or how. I have heard this from so very many mothers, who are new to homeschooling and just pulled their children out of public school to start homeschooling. That their children just are not naturally curious or interested in learning or progressing in anything! It's a huge reason many people encourage deschooling before starting to homeschool, to recapture that natural learning ability and love. It took Simone's mother a lot of love, tenderness and time to rehabilitate Simone's passion in this way. And that is with Simone obviously having this natural passion before going to the home that the Nazi's ordered her in, that had been nurtured by her parents, and other brothers and sisters for years. In coming articles I will be addressing this more specifically and in detail.

In conclusion I highly recommend reading this book! Both parents, and children. I would not read it to very young children, as much of it would not be understood and it could get boring or even scary for them. But, a child in 6th to 8th grade should be fine reading it. And I think all Jehovah's Witness children should read it. Simone's integrity through such harsh times is so amazing. I felt wonderful, and even closer to Jehovah and like my faith was even stronger because of reading her story. Her and her family are very inspirational in their faithfulness to Jehovah.

Weekend Edition ~ And Then There Was Five

And then there was 5. So now we have 5 children. haha Lela, Belle, Raphael, Simona, and Denise. After number 4, Simona, I actually had life threatening post partum health issues. My step mother and father were extremely worried for me after having number 5, Denise, as I had Pre Eclampsia again. And last time with Simona, I ended up back in the hospital and with septic shock, heart failure and post partum Cardio Myopathy for 6 months. I truly tried to stay on the Brewers diet which is the amount of protein is supposed to help prevent Pre Eclampsia, but I was just sooo full all the time, I know I was not getting the amount I needed. So this time when I came home my parents made me stay with them for a month. They actually wanted me to stay for 2 months, because sepsis, heart failure, and seizures are all things that can happen for up to 6 months after having pre eclampsia. But, I was ready to come home after a month!  haha

All that to say, since we stayed with them for a month, and I have a lot of younger siblings (many also came and stayed with my parents with their kids while we were there too!) helping care for my older children. I was able to read a lot more. So you will be seeing some book reviews coming back soon! And I have also had time to regroup and refocus and start writing some new articles for Golden Prarie Blog as well.

A few things to be looking forward to in the coming months on Golden Prairie-

Facing the Lion book review

How I have taught my children to read

Children who are not natural learners?

2019's Branson Missouri's homeschool week at Silver Dollar City

And hopefully many more. Keep visiting and checking for updates and encouragement.

Weekend Edition ~ Regional Convention

We went to our Regional Convention, and it was the first one we were able to take my step father to in 20 years. Since my mom died last fall, he has been able to get out again. She had been very ill for decades and he would stay home with her.

He was so excited to be at a Regional Convention for the first time in 20 years. He didn't recognize many people at first, because people change a lot in 20 years. But, I would point out to him, many of his old friends. He would ask some of them if they remembered who he was, and they would say, Of course we know you Brother Dunn! A few people I didn't recognize also came up to him and said, Hi Brother Dunn! One brother took me 2 days to remember who he was and place him in my mind.. I personally had not seen that brother in decades either! haha I don't know if it was a fluke he was at our Convention or not, but I hadn't seen him in probably 20 years either! haha Any way, he was just so happy and excited he had a great time, as did we all.

I was 9 months pregnant though so my feet were like sausages! And felt as if they would split open! But, I made it!

If you know me very well you will also know, that I go to many restaurant grand openings to get one free year of food. Well, I had did that about 7 years ago for a restaurant called Freebirds, I did not use all my points from that, and eventually they went out of business in Wichita. But, are still in business where are Regional was held. This year they announced points not used would be cancelled after one year. I had so many points left, I qualified to have a party for 20 people, plus a bunch more food, and STILL have points left over! So I held a party at our hotel for several of our friends too. That was a lot of fun.

Then on the way home, we stopped at Red Lobster, because on Mondays there is a reduced priced all you care to eat shrimp meal, and my step father loves shrimp. And the children had a impromptu education on lobsters, and were able to see one up close and even touch it.

There was substantial flooding though, both in Kansas and Oklahoma during this time.