Weekend Edition~Socialization-The Myth

It's easy to prove that one on one teaching is more effective then one on 30 to 40. So that train of thought was easily thrown out of the debate as to why to send a child to institutionalized school vs homeschooling them. So a mythical problem called socialization was thrown out there to see if that would work. And crazy enough many people actually believe that a child can only learn social skills through a institutionalized school system. This hypothesis has many flaws.

1. Only in institutionalized school systems are people divided into age groups. All other places in society people have to learn to socialize with others of varying age groups.

2. A child can only teach the social skills of their age level. They can not teach what they do not know. So expecting other children to teach your child a skill they do not have, is completely inappropriate. Children learn true social skills from mature older people, teaching them correct socialization methods. Think about why bullying happens? It is because they are not being directed by mature adults showing them how to socialize with others in a mature correct way. It becomes a Lord of the Flies situation, if children are left to other children for their training. Training was meant to come from the parents. In fact Jehovah commands parents to train their children.

3. Institutionalized schools are not the only place that children can socialize with others. There are libraries, museums, play ground and parks, the Kingdom hall, field service, restaurants, stores. Any where you go there will be other people that your children have to learn to communicate with in socially acceptable manners. Even if they never left the house, which is highly unusual and unlikely. Many years ago, people spent the majority of their time with their family. Their parents and siblings. There was only a few months during the year that going to a school would be tangible. There was planting season they had to help their family with, then harvesting season. Then winter was often too harsh and dangerous to leave the house. So that only left a very few months that schooling outside the home was attainable. The rest of the time they spent with their family. Yet, they did not seem to have social problems. In fact, some may argue people were more courteous and had better fellow feeling and manners. People learned social skills by dealing with and socializing with their families.

4. Studies have shown that the best socialization method is to mix children up with different age groups. When children of all one age were put together and observed. They all sank down to the lowest social skills to equalize and fit in. But, when children were put in mixed groups of ages. The older ones strove to be good examples to the younger ones because they wanted to help them. While younger ones worked at rising to the older ones example because they looked up to the older ones and wanted to be like them.

Do not be mislead by the socialization myth. Think about how you yourself socialize with others, now that you are a adult and do not go to school any more. If you are a stay at home mother, do you have to go to a job to socialize with others? Or do you have and find friends other places? You can find your core friends in the congregation. And that is exactly where you can find social opportunities and friends for your own children. True ones! That matter. Remember, bad association does not have a age to start. Bad association is bad for all ages, not just adults.. Live life as you normally would. And your children should not have socialization problems. There will be plenty of social skills being built along the way. And you will be there, as the caring adult, to lovingly guide them in the way they should go. If you notice your child has behavior or social problems, you can help them, and guide them in a better way. If they were away from you you would not be able to see it and correct it. But, the majority of children are going to take the leading example of their parents and not have problems socializing.