Weekend Edition ~ Sometimes We All Need A Break

This article goes along with my last three part series on why some children may not seem like natural learners and techniques that may help. Sometimes even "Natural Learners", and children who love textbooks and workbooks too, and even Mama!, need a break.

When Mama and the kids start getting the doldrums of being home and the same ole, same ole, day after day. We sometimes just need to take a "inservice", or mental health day. Call school off for the day, and get outside! Walk to the park, if the weather is not conducive of being outside, find a indoor play ground or museum, or even a mall and go get a Starbucks or Orange Julius and walk around! What ever it is, that you can find to get you and the kids out of the house for the day. Sometimes we even call another homeschool family to come join us.

Do NOT feel like you are failure if this starts creeping up on you, and you just don't want to do another day of school or be in the house another day. This is normal for all homeschool families and even teachers and students in public schools too. But, the great advantage of homeschooling is, we, the parents, are in charge of what we do every single day. And we can choose to take the day off and do something else, and come back to doing a more structured school day another day. Tomorrow, next week, or even next month. It's all up to you. The important part is to allow yourself to know it is ok! Do not try to push through it, you and your children will just be miserable, and you risk squashing that love of learning right out of your children. But, by taking needed breaks to spice things up, you can keep that love of learning, and go back to the structured things later with out fights, or forcing! And every one can get the needed break and feel so much better when you do go back to your more structured days.

This is one reason "Jubilee" schooling is sometimes preferred by many. The 6 to 8 weeks of structured learning, and then 1 to 2 weeks break, and so on. Works very well for many families. Because the breaks are already built in! But, also remember you don't have to have the breaks scheduled in, you have the rights, and the power to impromptu take any breaks you deem needed or wanted! Schools take many breaks all through the year. We aren't expected or legally mandated to do more or force our children and selves to be like robots and keep forcing when we need and can take a break.

You may want to also keep in mind what I have found in my experience through the years.

The beginning of the school year, most homeschool groups start in the fall, is almost always super exciting and people have had a nice long summer break and are ready to get back to the grind. Along with they are super happy that the public school kids are back in the schools and all the public fun places to take children are not so over crowded and it's fun to go to them again. So there is almost always tons and tons of field trips schedule. Sometimes several every day. I find in my area September and October, every single day at least 2 or 3 field trips are scheduled by local museums, zoos, and such, along with most the homeschool groups also have several organized and scheduled. As the year goes on, there is less and less field trips, til almost none of the places or homeschool groups have much at all put together. But, those first two months are almost always super exciting months for the year. And then things wind down to not so exciting, and then down to sometimes down right dread!

The first month can also be extremely overwhelming if you are too strict with yourself and your children. Remember that most curricula that you buy, is written for the first 20 days to be new learning AND review and will take almost twice as long to get through a day as the rest of the curricula. So keeping that in mind, start with only 1 or 2 of the most important subjects to you the first week or two, and then add in a little bit more each week, so you aren't doing 8 hours a day of school and wiping every one out. Or review each days curricula schedule and only do parts of it that you think your children can benefit from. You can even just do half a day each day.

When I was growing up, we did not have air conditioning in schools. And the heat can get up to 125 degrees where I live. No A/C and 125 degrees in the afternoon meant that kids and teachers could have a heat stroke. Once in a while we would have a teacher who would buy a fan. But, I can promise you a fan doesn't help much in 125 degree weather in a small class room with 30 other children in it! HOT HOT HOT! So depending on the temperature every day, we were in what was called Heat Contingency Plan for the first month of school (after the first month the temperatures would go down to the 80's and 90's which was more acceptable with a fan). What the Heat Contingency Plan meant was, if the temp was over 105 degrees for the afternoon, we would only go to school a half day. Morning only. And that was for K-12th grade. None of the grades were expected to stay in the afternoon in that kind of heat with out A/C. No one worried about any one getting behind. And no one that I know of, fell behind because we had a month of half days either! We just did reading and math those days. And maybe science if there was time. We all came out fine and we can all read, write, and do math! haha

Around February to April, I find almost ALL homeschool families, and public school teachers and families are just done! They don't want to do another day. I think it's awesome that most states schedule their homeschool conferences and conventions during this time, cause it's the time we need the boost the most! It's also a time that I start heading to the park, and we have more outdoor time, and nature walks to keep us fresh and happy.

So remember just because you need a break, or start feeling over whelmed, or your kids need a break, or are feeling overwhelmed, does not mean something is wrong with you, or that homeschool is not working for you. It means you are normal! And just evaluate what you want to do, and feel no guilt in taking a break!

Weekend Edition ~ My Child is Not a Natural Learner - Part 3

I decided to stretch this article into three parts. Because, this can be a deep subject with many facets, and individual to each family. So I wanted to touch on as many reasons as I have come across on this topic.

In thinking on this, I wanted to add just one more thought, we are not perfect. I am not perfect, my children are not perfect. I now have a teenager. While some parts of academics took me a while to figure out how to teach my children while they were younger, the teen years are coming up with new challenges. Hormones, and teen angst can hit the best of children. I remember, my own challenges with it as a teen. Such a hard age. So I have also came to terms with some days, we just have to sit back, and have a honest heart to heart talk with my preteens and teens. They are going through a lot of hormonal, and other puberty related growth changes in life that have a direct effect on their attitudes, feelings, and otherwise. And sometimes we just need to have open, honest, and loving talks, that sometimes include tears both from the child and the parents, with them to help them through this time. The YPA book has some good suggestions on these times as well. I put academics on the back burner during these days, but that doesn't mean they are not learning. Remember personal progress. They are learning about other things those days, and it will help them when they sort through the emotional things to make better academic progress the next day or next week. This can also be said of children who believe they are dumb or stupid, and get angry about learning. Maybe step back, even if they are not a teen or preteen, and think about having a heart to heart with them, and finding out what they are thinking, and helping them through that emotional rough patch so they can bust through it and get to the academics learning part.

I hope these articles help you with relaxing and finding confidence that you are a great teacher for your child, and maybe just need to either wait, or put away some things that may be hindering your child. Keep in mind also, that most learning does not look like what you may have in mind, that public schools have conditioned us to believe is the only way to learn. A lot of learning is from watching mom and dad, and living with you. So when you feel your children are not learning, step back, and re-evaluate what you feel learning is. What were they doing last year? What are they doing this year? It's very very rare, that a child would not have made progress in a year in some form or fashion. We just sometimes have to reprogram our thinking on what learning is, and think about the individual progress each child has made every year, every month, even every week. Living with them, we may not see it, so sometimes have to force ourselves to really evaluate this and make sure we are being honest, and most likely your child has progressed... just maybe not in what your goal was, or in the way you had been expecting it.

Weekend Edition ~ My Child is Not a Natural Learner - Part 2

Some of you may of read Part 1 of this article and said, but Heather we have done all that and our children still do not seem to really seek out learning. The next half of this article may seem controversial, so take it for what it's worth. You can try it and see if it will help, but of course I am not telling you what you must do with your family. I am only offering what has helped and worked in my own family.

I find my children are much more creative, and eager to learn, when we cut out almost all electronics. We still allow tablets at meetings, and we watch the shows on JW Broadcast. We only have 1 TV. And it is only used to watch JW Broadcast. The rest of the time we listen to the radio. I use a small MP3 playing radio, and have put all our JW broadcasting songs on a flash drive and we listen to them on the radio. They also do sometimes listen to secular radio stations as well on a radio. But, we do not have screens except for meetings, and watching JW Broadcast (limited-not daily), and once in a great while at other peoples homes. I do not dictate that others not allow my children to watch TV. We also don't play video games much, again mainly only when they are at some one's home that wants to, and that's not often. Again I do not dictate that they can not at other peoples homes, that is just too hard to regulate, and makes being a guest harder on the host. I say this because my parents are not Jehovah's Witnesses, and live in rural Kansas, among many Amish and Mennonites. One of my brothers even dates a Mennonite woman. So they have many Amish and Mennonite friends, and they would always ask my parents not to allow their children to play video games or watch tv while visiting my parents. It was really hard to constantly make sure these children weren't doing that. And my parents are more screen free than the majority of people now days. They only have 2 TVs! lol They are a NO TVs in the bedroom family and always have been. But, they live in a large home and have 4 living rooms. So there is 2 TVs one in the Great Room on the main floor, and one in the Family room in the Basement. When I was growing up they didn't have the side of the house that has the Great Room and only had the side with the Family Room in the Basement and that was the only TV they had back then. Being in the basement sometimes the Amish kids would sneak off and watch TV down there or play video games. It became quite the chore to keep them from doing that. haha So any way, rambling to say I don't expect that of hosts, for my children.

Being screen free, I would estimate at least 85% percent of the time, has really effected my children greatly. I notice a huge, huge, huge difference when they are allowed to be in front of a screen. Attitudes and attention spans are much different. I will warn it took my oldest a few days to detox each time when she was younger. And would be a little bit of a terror for 2 to 3 days with out screens after being exposed. Then she would be normal, happy, exploring self again, with much more patience, and attention span.

Many ask, what do you do then? We have a lot of things for children to do in our home. They have roller skates/blades, a basketball hoop, a trampoline, a swing set, a animal water trough, I bought just for them to swim in, all kinds of things outdoors. Inside we have books, a mini trampoline, toys, radio, etc. And what may seem odd, and might not work for your family but is huge in my family, is a bathtub! haha The bathtub provides my children with hours of entertainment, when the weather is not conducive to being outside. They put on their swim suits and spend hours playing in the bathtub like it's a swimming pool or something! haha My children never seem to get "bored". Only a few times have they told me they are bored. And I do not play that game. Either they find something to do, or I will find something for them. What I find, most likely is not something they would like to do, hint hint! Like wash the dishes, clean your room, help sort laundry. These are all things I normally have them do, but if they are going to feign boredom, they can step it up and do more. So needless to say this is not something I hear often.

There is also scientific proof that children who use their large motor skills often. Hours each day during the younger years, have a much easier time learning academics. That is another reason we limit screens, and focus on playing and moving more. It develops brain pathways, and problem solving skills that helps to learn the academics we are all wanting our children to learn. And with out screens to distract them and suck up their time, they naturally spend more of their time physically playing and being more physically active over all.

This article has become longer than I had originally planned, so I am breaking it up into a third part. Please keep following my blog for Part 3 of this topic.

Weekend Edition ~ My Child is Not a Natural Learner - Part 1

A common concern I have found among many parents, is their children do not seem to be natural learners, or are not interested in learning anything. It leads the parents to feeling, either they must not be a good teacher for their children or they must force and fight their children to teach them anything. The following article will address why this may seem to be the case, and if it is, how to combat these tendencies and help a child progress back to the natural tendencies, that ALL children are born with, of curiosity and learning. Of course barring the child does not have mental, learning, or emotional disabilities that may hinder or override this natural born instinct.

Remember Jehovah made humans to learn. From conception they are learning, we do not have to force a fetus to learn to listen to our heartbeat and know we are there by that sound. We don't have to force babies to learn to smile, or talk, or eat foods, crawling and walking. These are all things the majority of children will do on their own because they are curious and driven to do the things around them they see others doing.

Academics really and truly does happen the exact same way. As children see others learning, reading, speaking, doing math for life around them-budgeting, and such. They begin to want to as well!

Yet many still experience children that seem to lack this desire, when it comes to academics. The main cause of this is expecting what is called "seat work", and particular skills before the child is developmentally ready. Most American schools, and other public schools around the world often start pushing these forms of academics way too young. Meanwhile it is not developmentally appropriate for most very young children. Most of us would assume that the officials in charge of schools academic choices would have researched child development and chose skills that would coincide with the majority of children's age appropriate development. But, sadly that is not what happens in most public schools across the world. Most are developed by government officials who are only wanting to look good on tests scores around the world. Complete competition based, not developmentally chosen. And in this it's failing hugely. The countries like the USA are falling down towards the bottom of these tests scores, meanwhile other countries who delay academia til it's more developmentally appropriate for the children's ages, score much much higher on these tests.

Because of the above, children who are pushed to learn things before they are developmentally ready, give up on learning. When they can not learn what is being asked of them, they begin to feel stupid, and like it's something they can't do, so give up. And then even when they "can" they have already been defeated in the past so do not want to even try now. Since, they are feeling so badly about themselves being dumb, or stupid, they will fight and cry, and just really throw some fits about doing "seat work" or learning in any way, shape or form.

Often children who have been in public school already have this problem. That is why it's highly suggested to Deschool (different than Unschooling, and I do have a blog article on this as well) for at least 2 months for each year they have been in school, and summer time does not count in this. To help them develop their confidence back. It can also happen even if a child has never been to a public school because the parents have bought in to the public schools push of academics too young as well. Again deschooling may need to take place.

One thing to keep in mind that age appropriate development can vary hugely between children. Just like it does for babies and toddlers. One baby may start speaking at 6 months old and another not til 18 months old. One baby may start crawling at 6 months and another not til 9 months old. Doesn't mean we need to push the 7 or 8 or 9 month old baby to start crawling cause other 6 month olds are, or that they don't want to learn, or that they are developmentally behind. All it means is that baby is not ready yet, because humans are not robots and each are ready at different times. It's exactly the same with academics. One child may be ready to read at 5, and another not til 9. Both are fine. Both will eventually learn exactly what they need to, when they need to. And that is ok! Try to let go of competition, and just focus on each child making individual progress. It's kind of the same with our Bible studies. We may have one study that progresses very quickly and another who takes much longer to progress. Both, are coming to a love of Jehovah at their own speed and that's ok. It's the same with academics, all children will learn at their own speed, if we don't squash that love out by trying to force them to learn things their developmental stage is not ready for yet.

As this subject can be diverse and deep, this will conclude Part 1, stay tuned for Part 2.

Weekend Edition ~ Teaching Your Child to Read

I think teaching a child to read is the skill that parents are the most scared and concerned about their ability to teach. It can be very scary. It's one of the most important skills in our ability to learn about Jehovah, by reading his word, the Bible. As well as living in a society that tells us that you need to be a teacher in a school to teach, parents can't do that! But, it's not true! Many parents have been successful in teaching their children to read.

John Holt speaks about this in many of his books. It seems like How Children Fail touches on this a bit, although the main theme of How Children Fail is his journal of teaching 4th grade math... so it just touches on reading a bit. But, still it's very encouraging that most children can learn to read at home, with out a school teacher.

The most important part of teaching a child to read is being a reader yourself. Make sure the child sees you reading! Children love to imitate their parents. If you are not a reader, they likely will not be interested in it either.

Make sure to try to read to your children daily. Going back to what I always tell my readers, and friends, remember age development appropriateness too! Toddlers, and children under 6, may not want to curl up in your lap while you read for hours at a time. Yes, I know it's what we all dream about while pregnant. But, the reality may be very different when the baby becomes a toddler, or up to 6 years old. I had all those dreams of Lela (my oldest), being blissfully curled up in my lap daily while I read and read fun, engaging stories to her. HA! She was not that child! She hated it, would tear up and rip the books out of my hands. Would fight and cry and scream! So I gave up. I would revisit it every so often but til she was 6 years old she just was not having it! At about 6 years old (maybe late 5 years old), she started sitting and listening to me read, and quickly began to enjoy it.

Since then, I have read so many more books and heard so many more workshops on how to homeschool and teach children, that I have learned children do NOT have to sit still in your lap (or any where else) to listen to you read. I have learned children can play with blocks, or match box cars, etc on the floor while you are reading. I do ask them to play quietly. But, they can move around and play while I read. I have tested this many times with Belle, and RJ, and we are doing this with Sofia as well, but she is not old enough for me to "test". But, how I test if this is working, I read a small/short story (maybe a Bible Story), while they are playing quietly close to me, and then I ask them the questions about what I read, and every single time they can answer them with out problems! They are listening even when it seems like they are not paying a lick of attention to you. They look like they are so into their playing with their blocks, or cars or what have you, and they just may be playing very intently with them, but they are also listening. Again, I do have the rule of they need to be quiet while I am reading, but they can move and play all they want.

When I feel the child is ready, usually around 7 or older, I start with Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. We move on to Pathway Readers, Pathway Readers Workbooks, Climbing to Good English workbooks, as they seem to meld together so well. And also McGuffey Readers. Mott's sells a Teacher/Parent guide for the McGuffey Readers written by one of my favorite worldly authors, Ruth Beechick. If you choose to use her guide, make sure to get the Mott's McGuffey Readers as well, as there are MANY versions of McGuffey readers out there, as they were revised many times in the 1800's. The lessons will not match up if you get a different version of them from the ones that Ruth made her Parent/Teacher guide for. Ruth also wrote a very good 3 book series on teaching children to read. I will have to review for my blog soon. The Watchtower Bible and Track Society used to publish a workbook entitled Learn to Read and Write. It is currently out of print, but your Kingdom Hall may have a booklet or two left, or maybe a older brother or sister in your congregation may have one in their library you could ask if you could have. It's based on the DISTAR reading method. It's a good place to start if you have one available to you to see if the Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons would be a good fit for your child.

However, remember, just because a child doesn't respond to it, may not mean it's not a good fit for your child. It may mean your child is NOT ready to learn to read yet. And it may work later on. Most girls naturally learn to read between 7 and 9 years old, sometimes up to 12 years old. And most boys learn naturally learn to read (with out pushing and just by being in a reading family) between 9 and 12 years old, and sometimes up to 14 years old.

I strongly always suggest listening to Andrew Pudewa's Podcast Teaching Boys and Other Children Who Would Rather Make Forts All Day. He added in the "Other Children" because, while this podcast mainly focuses on teaching boys, much of it can also pertain to many girls as well. Andrew has 7 children. I know one of his children, a son, he refers to in this Podcast did not learn to read til he was 14 years old. Just this year, Andrew was at my local homeschool conference again. And I love his workshops so much, I went to every single one he gave. And there was follow up to his son. I do not have my notes, as I am writing this right now, so I can not remember the exact career his son chose in life (he's now a grown adult man) but it's suffice to say he is a successful grown man, and has a career that more than adequately provides for himself. I found a good article written by Andrew Pudewa, as I was trying to remember what career his son went into. Another awesome reminder for parents about ALL children learning to read in their own good time. I actually heard him give this workshop in person years ago. Andrew's article on his son's learning to read at a much later age of 14 years old - The Work of a Child.

Remember in my previous blog posts, Beverly Cleary, who became a very famous, and acclaimed children's book author did not learn to read til 9 years old. It was when SHE was ready to learn. Teachers and parents were so concerned when she didn't learn earlier, but she was not ready before then. As you can see today it did not hinder her long term reading or success.

Another good author who speaks on many children not learning to read til later, but still being successful reader is Raymond Moore, particularly his book Better Late Than Early.

Weekend Edition ~ Facing the Lion Book Review

While I have a paper form of this book, a friend also bought me the digital version from Amazon. So made it super easy to read while caring for Denise, and recovering from her birth. I was able to complete the entire book. I read the unabridged version (NOT the abridged).

Facing the Lion, is a true biography written by a sister about her life during World War II as a Jehovah's Witness child.

Simone is the sister's name. She starts the book by giving the reader a background of her childhood and family, starting very early in life. Then gradually gets to the time when her mother found the truth and became a Jehovah's Witness, Simone was still quite young, if I recall around 6 or 7 years old.

Simone goes on to explain how her mother taught her Biblical truths with out disrespecting her father, who was a devout Catholic and did not want Simone to be a Jehovah's Witness. As time goes on she tells of how so many of her family, friends and neighbors eventually learned the truth because of her mothers faithfulness to Jehovah, and her mildness, respect and love!

Eventually though as we know World War II hit the area that Simone lived in, and Hitler targeted Jehovah's Witnesses and banned our religion. Simone's story of faithfulness and integrity is so inspiring during this time. She even seen Hitler herself! And other sad and shocking things happened to her during this time.

There is however, some even more sad, and harsh times that came. Simone was taken from her parents, and both her parents were put into prison and concentration camps for remaining servants of Jehovah. While parts made me cry in emotional pain for this family, and Simone's situation, it was also VERY faith strengthening to read how Jehovah always helped them to feel his love and loyalty, and how they too remained faithful and loyal to Jehovah, never turning their back to serving him.

Some parts of it were so sad it was hard for me to continue reading, BUT, I knew that Jehovah had always stayed by the brothers who lived through World War II, so I kept reminding myself I knew it would have a good ending if I just kept trudging through and it did not disappoint. The ending was amazing! The love from our world wide brotherhood I had not heard of in the past that I remember (as far as some things provided specifically for and to Simone's family).

Now take this paragraph with the mind set that I am NOT in any way, shape or form, saying that modern day Public School is any where near the torture and pain that the place Simone was taken from her parents and ordered to live, by the Nazi Regime. However, there was some distinct similarities. The ending chapters explains that Simone's time in the placement home/school had taken away some her of natural curiosity and momentum to progress in life, that is normal for most people, who had not lived in the home that Simone had been mandated to live in. Public School in the USA has actually specifically been designed to do so on a less intense level. John Taylor Ghatto explains this much deeper. But, the constant, just do as your told and do not learn anything that the rest of the class is not learning yet, or only color a picture this particular way and this particular color, gradually and by design takes away many children's, in the USA and other counties public schools, natural desire to learn and progress with out being told specifically to or how. I have heard this from so very many mothers, who are new to homeschooling and just pulled their children out of public school to start homeschooling. That their children just are not naturally curious or interested in learning or progressing in anything! It's a huge reason many people encourage deschooling before starting to homeschool, to recapture that natural learning ability and love. It took Simone's mother a lot of love, tenderness and time to rehabilitate Simone's passion in this way. And that is with Simone obviously having this natural passion before going to the home that the Nazi's ordered her in, that had been nurtured by her parents, and other brothers and sisters for years. In coming articles I will be addressing this more specifically and in detail.

In conclusion I highly recommend reading this book! Both parents, and children. I would not read it to very young children, as much of it would not be understood and it could get boring or even scary for them. But, a child in 6th to 8th grade should be fine reading it. And I think all Jehovah's Witness children should read it. Simone's integrity through such harsh times is so amazing. I felt wonderful, and even closer to Jehovah and like my faith was even stronger because of reading her story. Her and her family are very inspirational in their faithfulness to Jehovah.

Weekend Edition ~ And Then There Was Five

And then there was 5. So now we have 5 children. haha Lela, Belle, Raphael, Simona, and Denise. After number 4, Simona, I actually had life threatening post partum health issues. My step mother and father were extremely worried for me after having number 5, Denise, as I had Pre Eclampsia again. And last time with Simona, I ended up back in the hospital and with septic shock, heart failure and post partum Cardio Myopathy for 6 months. I truly tried to stay on the Brewers diet which is the amount of protein is supposed to help prevent Pre Eclampsia, but I was just sooo full all the time, I know I was not getting the amount I needed. So this time when I came home my parents made me stay with them for a month. They actually wanted me to stay for 2 months, because sepsis, heart failure, and seizures are all things that can happen for up to 6 months after having pre eclampsia. But, I was ready to come home after a month!  haha

All that to say, since we stayed with them for a month, and I have a lot of younger siblings (many also came and stayed with my parents with their kids while we were there too!) helping care for my older children. I was able to read a lot more. So you will be seeing some book reviews coming back soon! And I have also had time to regroup and refocus and start writing some new articles for Golden Prarie Blog as well.

A few things to be looking forward to in the coming months on Golden Prairie-

Facing the Lion book review

How I have taught my children to read

Children who are not natural learners?

2019's Branson Missouri's homeschool week at Silver Dollar City

And hopefully many more. Keep visiting and checking for updates and encouragement.